Revamp to Nowhere

So Citigroup is revamping its board under the direction of change agent, Chairman Richard Parsons. Yawn. Stretch. Rub those eyes.

Here's our slate of nominees, which we thoroughly researched and arrived at after careful contemplation. Or as much as Spencer Stuart will likely do over the next six months while they collect a handsome fee talking to the same old recycled hands. In fairness to Spencer Stuart, any of the other old line firms would be handling the search in the same way.

We don't the buy the idea that no one will want to serve on this board despite the potential pitfalls. Mainly due to what a Search master always says, "we never have trouble finding candidates for major CEO and board positions."

Paula Rosput Reynolds -- Fresh off her AIG and Delta stints, there is no one more primed and ready for for more board responsibility when it comes to potential turnarounds, sales and/or bankruptcies.
Bob Nardelli -- Proven bag carrier for private equity, strong operations experience and can ask for the loan/sale, a competency which Citi's board will need. And while he's a sitting CEO, Nardelli isn't exactly leading explosive growth right now so he should have plenty of time to lend expertise to a national cause.
Jeffrey Immelt -- Why not? After overseeing GE Capital's debacle, he ought to know how to avoid future mine fields. For those who say he has hands full right now, well, not for long if that stock continues its decline into value meal territory.
Pete Correll -- Last great company CEO to take a large operation private without losing their shirt (Georgia-Pacific Corp. sold to Koch Industries in 2006)
Ken Chenault -- Primed and ready after steering the ship quietly away from ice bergs at American Express, a proven financial services company. They're always Open, right?
Paul O'Neil -- former Treasury Secretary under George W. Bush and retired CEO of Alcoa. Government will need someone who knows all the pitfalls -- besides, it's time to throw the Republicans a bone in the spirit of partisanship.

Alternates: Assuming some members of the above slate aren't available, we also would like to suggest John Snow based on the svelte handling of the Cerebrus/Chrysler bailout and Dick Grasso for his expertise on lucrative pay packages awarded right under the nose of compensation committees.

Throw in a few of the previously publicly named suspects from the banking industry, and voila, you have a whole new slate ready to steer Citi back to...who knows. Either they're going away, will live to another day or be run as a quasi-private enterprise by the government. Here's what we do know: No one really knows. Or if they do, nobody is telling the public.

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