Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Stuck in a time machine

Is is it just us, or do Fortune 50 board-level matters feel stuck in a time machine?

Pick your exhibit: The so called Chairman of change at the new General Motors (GM), Bank of America (BofA) recently hired slate of directors or the proverbial AIG mix and match. Each has their own set of challenges. Yet all are united in one common governmental vision. It's time to cover our eyes and ears 'cause the governance horror flick is starting to make "Friday the 13th" look like a G-rated movie.

GM takes the cake with the hiring of former AT&T/SBC/Southwestern Bell CEO Edward E. Whitacre, Jr., a 67-year-old telecom cowboy of the tallest order. A person familiar with Whitacre used to regale us with first-hand stories dealing with 'ole Ed. Fear, intimidation and control were his management tools of choice -- no need to go there on evaluating his leadership style. This is the same man who didn't use email or a computer until his final years at the helm of the nation's largest telecom company. Whitacre evidently called called weekly executive meetings near his ranch in San Antonio every Monday morning. Executives had to show in person instead of calling in like they do in every other 21st century company. "Better to get everyone together, all in one place so I can tell them what to do," was the mantra; doing things his way or finding the highway was the other. To say Whitacre represents a different way to lead in a newly reorganized environment would be like saying former Vice President Dick Cheney personifies peace and love in a post-Islamic state.

But that's all water under the bridge. Now Chairman Cowboy can take on the New GM vision and everything else that comes with that bankrupt house of cards. Amazing. Just when you thought the page could be turned, it gets torn out of the book under the auspices of gray hair, experience and stability. Which, by the way, is what did in GM. But that's another story. Whitacre gets high marks in at least one required area: Dealing with government regulators, which he did so deftly there were often questions of who was regulating whom.

Here's a new suggested slogan for the Obama administration, which obviously signed off on this latest cutting edge decision. "Change We Can Believe In" should be renamed, "Change: It never happens in North America." At least not in the board rooms.

Where's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to provide parody when we need them?


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